Twists and Turns

I feel like this blog entry needs to come with a disclaimer. I really find it cathartic to write down what I'm thinking or feeling. Being somebody who has a...well, let's just call it a need to perform (or I'm an emotional exhibitionist) putting it out there for people to read is just an added bonus.

Alright, I was mentioning something about a disclaimer. I'm not writing this entry or any other to neither lament or solicit sympathy. I'm simply narrating my life for the sake of the before mentioned reasons.

It's been a weird summer. It has not been a bad summer. It has not been a good summer. The twists and turns of this summer were not expected, which you know is why they were twists and turns. On Memorial Day when I stood at the open of this summer I thought nearly every aspect of it would play out a little differently.

The short story is that it didn't and while I would have preferred my expectations to have been met, what am I going to do? When things didn't work out for me in the past I played the part of victim. It was not helpful. I would adopt a "why me" attitude and sit around feeling sorry for myself.

I'm not sure when things changed. I wish that I could pinpoint what exactly God used to shake me from this immature way of doing things. I know that it wasn't Conan's farewell address, but it is the reason why I was so taken back by it. When he told his audience that, "nobody in life gets exactly what they want but if you work hard and are kind amazing things will happen," I got a little teary eyed. He's right, crying about it is not going to do anything about it.

I cannot miss an opportunity for a Simpsons reference right now. In one episode Bart loses his dog and starts to cry. Homer's response to his son is awesome,

"Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog."

While I can't pinpoint when my way of thinking changed it has certainly changed. Don't get me wrong I do not like disappointment and if I had it my way I would avoid it all together. Sometimes I can do that and other times I can't help but meet it head on.

So, no I haven't been the biggest fan of the summer. There were some huge disappointments and I made one fairly large mistake. The fact of the matter is that crying about it is not going to do anything about it. Picking myself up and dusting myself off is me doing something about it.

Life is full of disappointments and negative turns. But, here is the thing. In most stories the main character hits a negative turn at the end of Act II. This happens to build drama before Act III, when the character achieves his resolution. This is when character is revealed and lessons are learned. If I'm living a story, and I tend to view life through such a lenses, then I'm learning some lessons and how I handle disappoint will reveal my character.

I do not want my character to be whiny like one of those Twilight people.

For that reason I can leave this summer feeling pretty alright about things.