Saturday, August 28, 2010

Not Stagnant

Today I received a phone call from a good friend of mine from high school. She told me that she is with child. That is incredible news and I'm very happy for her.

In May I became an uncle when my sister Megan gave birth to a little boy. Again, I'm very happy for them and I like being an uncle.

In August I attended the wedding of two step siblings two weeks apart from one another. I usually don't use the word "step" to describe family members but I didn't want it to seem like either A) my siblings married one another or B) my family is really disorganized and accidentally two weddings so close to one another. I realize this is paranoid but I rather be safe than sorry, especially for the first reason.

Anyway, back to the point.

All this has made me step back and reflect on my own life and ask what I'm doing with it all.

Before I go on I want to refer to my disclaimer from my last post. I'm not lamenting nor am I complaining. I am simply reflecting.

I'm not comparing myself to my sibling and my friends because I'm clearly living a different story than them. I'm not feeling jealousy because I'm very happy for them. Watching people around me go through major changes in there life is a little strange because I feel like my life is more or less the same than it was three years ago.

Of course, that isn't completely true. My life is pretty different than it was three years ago. I know that I have changed and have not stayed stagnant. Especially when I consider the actual definition of the word stagnant.

Stagnant:
1. not flowing or running, as water, air, etc.
2. stale or foul from standing, as a pool of water.
3. characterized by lack of development, advancement, or progressive movement: a stagnant economy.
4. inactive, sluggish, or dull.

Still, when all the massive changes are happening to people around me it tends to hold a mirror up to my life. It's not so much a question of "what am I doing?" as much as it is about "where am I going?"

Am I being intentional about the life that I'm living? Am I taking chances? Am I willing to take calculated risk? Am I ready to really pursue a career? Am I willing to take approach a lady and tell her how I feel about her regardless of how she feels about me?

These are the questions that I am asking myself right now and without sounding to serious the answer to them all are yes.

I have finally learned that without taking risks, experiencing failure, and following desires I will become stagnant. It's all very Joseph Campbell but it rings true to my ears.


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