The Twenties

I have gone on record stating that I am not a fan of the twenties. Actually, I don’t think I have ever gone on record. There isn’t a document with my signature sitting in a bank vault that definitively states that I am not a fan of the twenties. Let this here blog entry state for the record that I am not a fan of the twenties. I have friends who are just loving the twenties. They are excited by all the twists, turns, transitions, and freedoms that come with these restless years between childhood and adulthood. Adulthood…get ready for a tangent.

Tangent Begins
I don’t know when this adulthood is supposed to start. I mean, I already might be in it and nobody let me know. I know that I have responsibilities like my job, my bills, and I have to pay my insurance. I can’t jump off porches anymore because my bones are too old. But, do I feel like an adult? Very rarely. Well, I don’t feel like my perception of an “adult.” But, you know what? Neither do the people around me. I don’t see any adults around me. Certainly that fight I had with my ex-girlfriend was not one between two “adults.” Of course, I would say she wasn’t the adult and she would say that it was me who was acting like the child. Regardless, I think that proves my point.
Tangent Ends

Alright, I should get back to that topic at hand. Though, I think my tangent might play into it. Yes, the twenties provide you with an incredible amount of freedom. The twenties provide you with opportunities for incredible self-growth and reflection. Also, there seems like there is a major transition about every six months, so you learn how to roll with the punches. You adapt and learn the rules as you go.

These are great lessons and I have appreciated them. Heck, you know…I have been excited about them too. I’m a completely different person than I was at 21. Shoot, I’m a completely different person than I was when I was 25 or even 26. I have gained an incredible insight in the last 8 years.

It’s been a hero’s journey and it has been pretty incredible. But here is the thing; a hero’s journey comes at a cost. Everything comes at a cost. In Star Wars, Luke Skywalker had to leave his home planet and lose his family to start his journey. In the incredible Y: The Last Man, the main character Yorick had to be the only survivor of a plague that killed every living thing with a Y chromosome. In order for these characters to go on a journey they had to give up the stability of their former lives to discover themselves. Essentially, you give up stability.

For most people childhood is spent with the same core people in your family and the friends that you see every school year from kindergarten to senior year. Of course, there are exceptions but this is pretty much how it all goes down. Then suddenly, you leave these people and there are new people coming in and out of your life all the time. You might fall in love with a person and get a bit of that stability only to have them leave when things don’t work out.

If you are lucky you have an incredible community of friends to support you and challenge you. I certainly have had such a community. But, at the end of the day when you put your head down on the pillow you are alone.

I’m not lamenting this situation. I recognize it for being a part of the life process. In many ways I appreciate it and maybe even come close to celebrating it. It can just get a little exhausting from time to time. Clearly, I’m in one of those “from time to time.”

I’m just not a fan of it.

I have a couple of friends who got married in their early twenties and we often compare notes. I often tell them that they are fortunate that they partnered up with somebody early on. They tell me that both ways have their advantages and disadvantages. I believe them, as I no longer think that one day I will reach this place where there challenges cease and obstacles are obsolete. Which is to say that I don't believe that all my struggles will cease if I join them in filing joint income taxes club. But, they have somebody in this whole life thing with them. Not, sitting on the sidelines rooting them on, but right there in the game with them.

Back when Adam was working in the garden working for a living God saw that he was alone and that it was not good. I can imagine how Adam felt. He would have good days and have nobody to celebrate with when he got home. He didn’t have anybody to come home to at the end of the day to have a conversation with.

So, I guess what I’m saying is that I associate the word solitary with the twenties. I’m learning a lot about myself and certainly enjoying a great deal of freedom. But, it’s a solitary journey. I accept it and want to focus on doing it as well as I possibly can do it. I don’t want to rush through it or take it for granted. But, I’m not a fan.